Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Pathetic

I pounded out a few different half-finished book covers for the Guide to the Okal Rel Universe. Kinda stumped. I'll post one when it's acceptable.
Wrote another whole page in my story. Yeesh. I am so pathetic.

1 Comments:

At 12:45 PM, Blogger frankysbride said...

Perhaps this may help

LITANY OF THE STONED NOVELIST

Lord, have mercy on us.
Christ, graciously hear us.

Jack Kerouac, stoned right hand of Jesus and Mary,
Pray for us.

Arthur Rimbaud, deemed worthwhile on earth to see wine-soaked illuminations
and to enjoy their company,
Pray for us.

Raymond Chandler, raised to the dignity of pulp fiction whiskey Apostle,
Pray for us.

William S. Burroughs, who hadst the honor of beholding thy Divine Master
Even after numerous rehabs,
Pray for us.

F. Scott Fitzgerald, who at the Last Hollywood Supper didst receive the Holy
Inspiration for The Last Tycoon, before dying of an alcohol-induced heart attack,
Pray for us.

Ernest Hemingway, who after the profound grief
of The Movable Feast having alas moved on, found solace in the lamb of rum,
Pray for us.

Brendan Behan, who wast filled with the Holy Ghost on the day of Pentecost,
and every other day the pubs were open in Dublin,
Pray for us.

Dylan Thomas, who didst preach the inebriated Gospel in Wales, in a boat shed,
Pray for us.

Tennessee Williams, who didst perform wonderful miracles
in the power of the Holy Ghost, and the cattiness of the hot tin roof,
Pray for us.

Anthony Burgess, who didst restore himself to health
of both soul and body, after writing all of A Clockwork Orange on strong amphetamines,
Pray for us.

Stephen King, who didst impose silence on demons
and didst confound their oracles, too stoned while writing Cujo to remember that he did,
Pray for us.

Vincent Van Gogh, who didst in poetic letters foretell to a weak ego
an honorable peace with his powerful intoxication,
Pray for us.

Kenneth Patchen, who didst write of red wine and yellow hair,
Pray for us.

Ken Kesey, Merry Prankster, disciple of LSD and—unwillingly—datura fatuosa,
Pray for us.

Francois Villon, who did drink and murder in the furtherance of poetry,
Pray for us.

Arthur Verlaine, who didst gloriously suffer total leglessness
for the love of thy Divine Master,
Pray for us.

Percy Bysshe Shelley, who might as well have titled his poem about the fire of the imagination Opium Unbound,
Pray for us.

Jim Carroll, who didst stop nodding out long enough to write about People Who Died,
Pray for us.

William Shakespeare, who surely drank incredible Blessed Be wine at least once or twice,
Pray for us.

Blessed Apostles,
With confidence we invoke thee.
Pray for us.

Ss. Cosmas and Damian, help of the hopeless,
(and patron saints of chemists,)
Aid me in my distress.
Pray for us.

That by thy intercession,
both novelists and people of the Church
may obtain an ardent zeal for the Faith of Divine Inspiration,
We beseech thee, hear us.

That thou wouldst defend our Sovereign laptops
and obtain peace and unity for the Holy keyboard,
We beseech thee, hear us.

That all heathens and unbelievers
may be converted to the True Faith of print on paper,
We beseech thee, hear us.

That faith, hope, charity, and sickly manic dialogue may increase in our hearts,
We beseech thee, hear us.

That we may be delivered from all evil thoughts of dullness
and from all the snares of the devil of self-doubt,
We beseech thee, hear us.

That thou wouldst vouchsafe to aid and protect
all those who honor thee,
We beseech thee, hear us.

That thou wouldst preserve us from all procrastination
and from all occasions of pissing around,
We beseech thee, hear us.

That thou wouldst defend us at the hour of death
against the fury of the editor and of his or her evil blue pencils,
We beseech thee, hear us.

Pray for us, that we may appease the Divine Justice
and obtain favorable royalties,
We beseech thee, hear us.

Pray for us, that we may be admitted
into the company of the optioned,
to rejoice in the presence of our Director forever,
We beseech thee, hear us.

Lamb of God, Who takest away the sins of the world,
Spare us, O Lord.

V. Ss. Cosmas and Damian, patron saints of chemists, pray for us,
R. And for all who invoke thine aid.

Let Us Pray

O God, Who through Thy blessed Apostles Ss. Cosmas and Damian,
hast brought us unto the knowledge of Thy Holy Intoxication,
grant us both to celebrate
their eternal glory by making progress in fictional exposition,
and by celebrating their glory,
to advance in inspiration,
through Our Lord Jesus Christ,
Who with Thee
and the Holy Ghost art one God,
now and forever.

Amen.

 

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